I am so fortunate to absolutely love the people I work with. So many people go to work each day, do the job they do well, chat a little with the people they work with, and then return home. Few have actual relationships with the people they work with. Perhaps it is just me in my goofiness, but I have developed some of the closest friendships with people I work with over the past twenty years teaching. Many days, they are the reason I go to work! Today was really unique though. Everyday I spend my "take me away" hour, a.k.a. lunch, back in the baby room with Brittney, Jessica, Amy, Alyssa, Jesse, sometimes Michelle, and six adorable little ones. It is crowded, sometimes crazy, but altogether one of the best hours of my day.....especially today.
I came into the baby room today loaded with my yummy Olive Garden salad and a stack of papers to grade. After getting things situated, I looked across the room and sitting next to Brittney was her mom. Her mom had come to see Sydney, Brittney's 6 month old beautiful first born baby girl, and to sit and eat with Brittney. I caught myself just staring. The staring that kinda takes your breath away. You know, one of those "could be" embarrassing SNAP out of it stares...almost unaware that I was lost in thought. An overwhelming sense of jealously hit my heart...actually it was more like envy. How I wish my mom could show up to work just to visit me! And how much I miss just sitting and chatting with her! Uh, it was awful and wonderful at the same time. Only awful because it reminded me of what I don't have anymore, which prompted me to think about why I don't have it anymore...and let's just trust me on this one...it's not a short happy list! Thankfully the beauty of the time took the majority of my thoughts to the wonderful side. How beautiful it is and was to witness and be in the presence of a mother and daughter closeness. It took me down memory lane...what mom would have on (always jeans, a sweat shirt, and sneakers (footies not socks)) , what we would be eating if she came to eat with me (pb&j on jewish rye, ruffles, and a few green olives), and then remembering the times she and I would chat for hours (usually on the phone) about everything...and yes, just ask any of my siblings, I mean everything. I truly miss all of her.
More than ever I want to express how lucky you are if you still have your mom with you today. Hug them, love on them, listen, spend time with them, and God please, touch them often. The emptiness that remains when they are gone at times brings you to your knees.
Brittney, I thank you and your mom, for allowing me to be a part of your lunch today. You both brought back a flood of happy memories for me. And, you reminded me of what the reunion will be like when I join my mom in Heaven.
Mom, I know where you are. My heart is holding you everyday.
I love you,
Kimmy
7 comments:
or 1/2 sandwich, FRESH Jewish rye form PUBLIX bakery less than 2 days old ONLY, CHIPPED IMPORTED BOILED HAM (how many times did I order that at the deli), REAL butter (good choice)but just a little ("just scrape it Kar"), 2 VLASIC sweet gerkins, and a small pile of potato sticks. There would have been a separate small tuperware with spicettes of course too. Oh, and a root beer. Not to mention, Mom coming for lunch??? She sat down MAYBE 10min EVERYDAY. She would have been at home cleaning. The ONLY way I can possible soothe this some days unbearable heartache is with remembering and sharing her quirkiness. All the HALF cleaned floors for show and tell, being called to look at ABSOLUTELY every item in the Hallmark srore, that goofy stuffed Jaguar (go JAX!)in her back car window, vacuuming the garage......she was in a word, "UNREAL." Ironically, the beauty is that I share this loss so identically with 3 precious people...she knew this would be so and that we would need that to fill us up....she loves us so completely. I miss you Kimmy Ann.
...i wished upon that very star, this very night- i'm so glad i came to this post kim. i have tears streaming down my face, though i can't stop smiling remembering her- i need you and kar always to help me, as the details of her always seem to be hidden or faded from my memory...
i love you. xoxo
sister kris
making me cry!...again!
next time, PLEASE issue a mascara alert.... love you very much!
as always, tears...
Kim, I lost my precious Mother in May. Although I was fortunate to have her for most of my life, I can honestly say that I know exactly how you feel. I was just thinking today that this will be my very first Christmas without Mom...but Mom's first Christmas with Jesus. My prayer has always been that my girls would love me as much as I loved her. Thank you so much for your sweet words! Brittney's Mom
wow! you were not kidding that song is beautiful. Of course you made me cry.
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