STRENGTH

Part of growing up in the Jackson family meant being surrounded by strong women. Not only were these women physically strong, but their emotional strength has left a mark that can never be erased. Both of my grandmothers were incredible women. They were confident, intelligent, had high expectations for themselves and anyone their lives touched. My Aunt Ann was another amazing woman. She hauled trailers filled with 17+ hand horses all over the state of Florida, entertained hundreds of people several times a year (Superbowl and Wimbleton every year!) and catered everything herself, and fought like a warrior against her many cancers....never, ever complaining and truly continuing on like she felt so well. The strongest yet, however, was the tender-loving 100 pound (on a good day!) woman who raised my three strong siblings and me. She was a ROCK. The list of endurances is SO long. Numerous affairs, dealing with an alcoholic spouse, traveling all over the world with three and sometimes four children ALONE, and living ALONE for so many years...raising children, a lot of this time, alone. I will never forget landing at the Tehran, Iran airport (1978)...walking around this airport like sore thumbs...WHITE, BLONDE headed kids with this thin beautiful woman......no sight of dad. Dad finally arrived an hour and a half later! Then there was the trip to Calcutta to have my little brother, Brad, stitched up because our one year old puppy literally chewed up his face. Christmas shopping in Bangkok with my older sister, Karen. The list goes on. Like her sister, she too had her illnesses that required so much of her strength to fight. She was a fighter, even in the end. But I do remember well, perhaps those vulnerable times when she was "knocked down", her telling me, "I don't want to be the strong one, today." This has hit me hard today especially. In just an hour or so I leave for Louisiana Tech to attend a parent/student orientation for Tod. I leave with excitment of what is come in his education and future...thinking especially of all the fun Delta Zeta and Sigma Phi Epsilon days that Mike and I still smile about today...and yet apprehensive of doing this alone. Being strong is a blessing and a curse. There seems to be that thought of "they can handle it...they're strong." I do know that you end up doing what you have to do, and I will. But I now know, mom, how you felt. I, too, don't want to be the strong one, today.