shredders

My "to do" list during spring break was long. And sadly, like my lenten "sacrifice," I failed at wiping off every single sinkin' thing on that list. Pet peeve. I like even my list "spit spot." Two of the items on my list ended up being very charged with unprovoked emotion. As many of you know, our 45ft live oak's roots decided to to "let go" of it's hold on our tree...which came crashing onto our house in late September. Recently, Larry, the most amazing, patient, and talented contractor...and more importantly, family friend, and his team finished repairing our home. It looks amazing. (SHOULD insert photo, right? slacker owner doesn't have one YET) Anyway, Larry got Mike and I working like bees on the inside stuff that was not on his list...one of which I finished this week. Painting the walls and trim (never ever again...on the trim that is) of our entry and hallway. Hall looks great. One item on the list was returning the crosses (which we collect) on one of the walls of the hallway. Forty eight to be exact. It was quite powerful. In fact, I teared up as I reached for nails to hammer into our wall....nails....and I erected many crosses. Flashbacks of the Passion of the Christ came to mind which had a tearful result. It reminded me of just how weak I am. Can't even give up Diet Coke successfully this Lent for goodness sake!! Capital "L."

And today, despite my OCD issues, the IRS paperwork from daycare and brown's pharmacy (which we DID receive and I filed in the IRS file) are missing. I get that Fatal Attraction look of "I won't LOSE in this search..." (truly scary for all to see, I know) as I examine every single piece of paper in the house. There is a LOT to be said for the aging process but my mother would reach down from Heaven itself to deliver a bar of soap for this girl's mouth if I said what I want to say!! This search, however, led to the most beautiful sound in the world. The shredder. How did I ever go so long without one? Nothing is better than ridding your life, your home, your filing cabinet, etc. of all this unnecessary JUNK. This led me to a place that brought about much emotion. How I wish I could shred some memories, choices, places, decisions, etc. from my life. Permanently ERASE and shred their existence. So many of them, despite my strong and persistent efforts, haunt me, periodically, to this day.

All in all, powerful reminders, this week, of our brokeness, and our inability to become whole without Him. I look forward to the day that He shreds all of my imperfections. I pray that your Lenten journey through this desert self examination period has caused each of you to reach out for His Hand, and to hold on to It...steadfastly.... through the storms of our brokeness.