I’ve got three brothers and a sister. My sister has a daughter, as does my older brother. My youngest brother has a daughter as well. Oh, my third brother has 2 daughters. So you can see that everyone in my immediate family has a daughter. And, did I mention that I have 4 boys? Now, I love my boys but I always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter…
As fate would have it, I am in a position I wish I did not have to be in, but feel blessed to be in. Let me explain. We have a friend who lost her husband to a brain tumor about 3 years ago. She has an older son and a daughter who was in 1st grade when her dad passed away. She and I have developed a great relationship. She just finished 3rd grade and is an amazing little girl. When she ran over and gave me a hug at church a few weeks ago and said, “Happy Father’s Day!” it brought a tear to my eye. I did not know her father very well, just a passing Hello at church, but from what I hear he was an amazing man. The kind of guy you want to hang out with, a guitar player, pawnshop aficionado, handyman, funny, caring, loving, just a true gentleman. Sometimes I selfishly wish I had known him better so I could try to be present in his way to his daughter. I have no delusions about taking his place, just giving her a reminder of him.
When I think about it though, I always go back to trusting God’s plan. I know Jerry had a lot of friends and many of them are still part of Lauren’s life. I am sure she sees glimpses of her father in his friends. I think about why our relationship is so special. Maybe it’s because she didn’t know me as a friend of her dads, but as a friend of hers. Maybe she saw me surrounded by boys and sensed that I needed a little girl to hug on once in awhile. I like to think that we’re helping to fill a void in each other’s life. I just wish our roles could be reversed. See, the void I have is in my head and abstract, wondering about a daughter. She has filled that void to overflowing. Her void is in the heart and real, missing the most important man in her life. I can only hope to fill a small portion of that void. I love you Lauren…
4 comments:
I can't imagine a loss like that so young. I think it's pretty amazing that you 2 share this kind of special relationship. And it's funny, as much as I always assumed all the Jacksons would have girls (since there were so many of us already) you seem so perfectly suited to be mom to a band of brothers.
You can come get hugs from the next little girl in our family any time you want.
Won't be too long now :)
Hey Kris,
Just to clarify...Mike posted this one! But thanks for the compliment on being a Mom to a band of brothers!
Kim
You are welcome to watch my daughter any time! We may be calling you guys to babysit this summer!!!!
I, of course, am wiping tears....you have NO idea how you fill a "void" in many women's life, my friend and brother.....there is just a certainty, an incredible knowing....and it so PEACEFULLY takes care......you brought me a box of tissue once and that's JUST who you have been and always will be, my treasured box of tissue reassuring me (even if indirectly) all along. Lauren is a very lucky lady and you are so insightful to acknowledge and share. Love you gentle man....a true GIFT to my family. p.s. There's still time for Annie....:-)
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