Rambling

Looks like Tod will be attending Louisiana Tech. After a year of starts and stops, hemming and hawing, ups and downs... This process: Get accepted, put down dorm deposit, register for freshman orientation... took about 3 hours. Now, 6 months ago the odds would have been 1000 to 1 that Tod would be at La Tech, but here he goes. Strange what God has planned...

Cole got the game ball at our T-ball game tonight (no, not because I'm the coach!) He made 3 outs and hit the ball all over the place. Not like last week when he hit a little dribbler up the first base line and kicked it into right field as he ran by. I looked at the ump and said, "He's out." He said, "OK".

Craig will be a teenager on Saturday. Holy Schnikey, where does the time go?!? He can be the most compassionate person I've ever seen one minute and a teenager the next. I guess God has a plan. If I didn't see the amazing person he can be, he might be dead by now...

Reed is potty trained, has a great vocabulary and is a joy about 75% of the time. That's not too bad for a 3-year-old. Following his brothers around has made him tough and wordly. Way too soon for me, I want the innocence of a first child with the fourth. It's hard to keep them "little" when there are big guys around. He'll be ready to move out at about 12, I think. Cole of course is ready now!

We keep getting busier and busier and the time goes more quickly, but the smiles are bigger and the moments are held more tightly. It's funny, I see Tod spending a lot more time with his little brothers... He's making moments to hold too.

Graduation

Well, son #1 graduated from Jesuit College Prep on Saturday. It was a great ceremony, about 240 kids, lasted about 2 hours. Kim, her dad, my parents, Aunt Karen (Kim's sister), Uncle Steve (my brother), Craig and I attended. Not nearly as emotional as I thought it would be. I think he is ready. I get butterflies thinking about the new adventure in his life and pray that he will share it with us as often and openly as possible. Had a great party afterwards, friends, family, food and drink. A great way to honor his achievement. There were about 20 high school age kids and then another 23 under the age of 13. Plus all the adults. Quite a houseful. I think the best compliment of the night came from Mr. Hough, a teacher/friend/mentor of Tod's who is studying to be a Jesuit priest. He told Kim, "I love your home. It is filled with children and that gives me so much hope." That's it. Hope. For Tod's future. For Craig, Cole and Reed. For relationships. For friends. For growth.

I hope this finds you well. I hope you enjoy reading it. I hope your life is full of family, friends and faith.

Preparation

We're getting ready for graduation. Saturday is Tod from high school and next Tuesday is Cole from Kindergarten. Each momentous in its own way. Both boys will be heading off to new schools next year, making new friends, learning new things.

I knew our house needed a little work, but getting ready for a party really shines the spotlight on the flaws. But it's home and it will be filled with friends and family, so what does it matter if there's still a hole in the laundry room wall from Lady (our big lab), or if the carpet in the front room looks like we've been having mud wrestling tournaments. My prayer is that the boys remember the love and faith and laughter and dancing in our home, not the walls and carpet in our house.

Appreciation

I really feel that Kim is totally underappreciated. I wish I could say that I am the one bright light in the fog that shows her she is appreciated, but I am mostly the fog. She does everything a stay-at-home mom does plus teaches 3rd grade. She is the most empathetic person I know. Her boys are her life. I am truly blessed that she is the mother of our children and the love of my life. Happy Mother's Day Kimmy!

Choices

With the school year coming to a close, I am quite thankful for how it's gone. We moved Craig this year to a new school. He's in 7th grade and had been in the same Catholic school since first grade. His older brother Tod was there for 8 years and I had been School Board President, so we were pretty invested in the old school. The new one is also Catholic, farther from the house, but better suited for Craig. I am constantly amazed at how well things work out when you spend time in discerment and prayer over decisions. Every decision Kim and I have made this way has been right. So, why don't we make them all this way? Unfortunately, haste and convenience often steer our decision making. With Tod still trying to decide on a college for next year (YES, WE KNOW IT'S MAY 10TH!!) I think it's safe to say we did not take the hasty, convenient route here.

There is a song on David Wilcox's Big Horizon CD that speaks to me. If I knew how to link music, I would. (Lil' help?). Anyway, here are the lyrics until I figure it out...

Hold It Up To The Light

It's the choice of a lifetime - I'm almost sure
I will not live my life in between anymore
If I can't be certain of all that's in store
This far it feels so right
I will hold it up - hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

The search for my future has brought me here
This is more than I'd hoped for, but sometimes I fear
That the choice I was made for will someday appear
And I'll be too late for that flight
So hold it up - hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

It's too late - to be stopped at the crossroads
Each life here - a possible way
But wait - and they all will be lost roads
Each road's getting shorter the longer I stay

Now as soon as I'm moving - my choice is good
This way comes through right where I prayed that it would
If I keep my eyes open and look where I should
Somehow all of the signs are in sight
If I hold it up to the light

I said God, will you bless this decision?
I'm scared, Is my life at stake?
But I see if you gave me a vision
Would I never have reason to use my faith?
I was dead with deciding - afraid to choose
I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose
But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move
And trust that the timing is right
Yes and hold it up hold it up to the light
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

Time

Our lives are spent in a seemingly endless stream of practices, recitals, games and meetings. In this we are just like most families. The thing that makes us a little unique is having our oldest graduating from high school and our youngest wearing big boy underwear all day without an accident. Our time with Reed we measure with a calendar, our time with Tod, a stopwatch. I've never experienced the feeling of pushing someone away with one hand and holding on for dear life with the other. Despite the fact I have longer and more coherent conversations with the 3-year-old, I will miss the late night conversations with Tod. When you have a teenager, you hold your most intimate conversations on their terms, at their times. So, when he pokes his head in at 11:30 to see if I'm still awake, I sit up straight and forget that I have to get up at 5:30. It's just what you do. I know it's strange, but I can feel the house slowly becoming more empty every day. Luckily, we have 3 more boys running around to keep us from being lonely, but letting the first one go.... We're not ready, there's still too much more to say...

and now I give you... the pfaff pfour!

Here is the first and hopefully not last post of my literary career. I'm Mike, Dad to 4 incredible boys. And as I sit and type, Kim (aka the mom) is on the phone- a favorite pastime- while Tod, our oldest, is in Arizona, Craig (#2) is texting some girl and Cole (#3) and Reed (little guy) are watching The Disney Channel. Tod went to Phoenix to visit ASU & is staying with my brother- (Uncle) Paul and his family. He will tour the campus Monday & we are pretty confident he'll love the place and want to go to school there. Not good for mom... Too far away and too much money. Out-of-state tuition sucks out loud (a Coleism). We hope to keep this blog updated with info, musings and stories. That way we can stay in touch without all that annoying intimacy. Kind of like a perpetual "Christmas letter". How fun is that?

I am sure I will grow to love journaling our lives for all to see, but right now I'm doing it to get Kim off my back. (JK, I Love You Kim- HEART and SOUL!!)