Road Trip

We’re leaving early tomorrow morning for Ruston, Louisiana. Home of the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs. 6 people, 2 cars, a fridge and microwave, laptop and printer, sheets and towels, hopes and dreams, apprehension and ambition. That’s quite a carload.

No more “Is he ready?” thoughts, it’s sink or swim time and I’m pretty confident we have ourselves a figurative Michael Phelps. The world will open up for him on Monday when we drive away. He’s only 4 ½ hours down I-20, but he’s in his own world. He will be pushed intellectually, challenged spiritually and he will meet people with views and ideas that he never imagined. He will hold tight to some beliefs and happily bid others farewell. He will argue passionately, spend hours in deep thought and laugh until he cries. He will eat ramen noodles, stay up too late, skip classes and pull all-nighters. He will meet people that will be his friends for life, perhaps even his soul-mate. He will kick footballs, lift weights and run. He will pick up new hobbies and see new places. This is an amazing time for him.

If you read this, please take a moment to say a prayer for Tod and his future. Thank you.

Olympics

We are an Olympic family. Not because we have superhuman strength or endurance, but because we love to sit around and watch people that do! When we were watching the opening ceremonies, Tod recalled the Ali moment of lighting the flame. I told him that was Atlanta ’96 and he said, “No way! I was 6 then, I wouldn’t remember that. It had to be the Salt Lake Olympics.” Of course, Google proved me right and Tod started to realize how long he had been watching Olympic games.

I saw the Miracle on Ice, the amazing Edwin Moses, Eric Heiden, Kerri Strug, and Michael Phelps, but my favorite Olympic moments happen right in my own living room.

Tod used to stand up on a step stool, put a children’s rosary over his head and make us sing the national anthem. He also would sit on the linoleum and grab the doorframe to launch himself luge-style across the kitchen and inevitably into the refrigerator. And I still have friends who say, “Co-Ca-Lell-A, proud sponsor of the BA-LINK-ITS.” Even now he actually comes out of his room for hours at a time and sits with the family to watch the Olympics.

Craig has become a connoisseur of beach volleyball and women’s gymnastics. Did I mention he’s 13 and going into 8th grade this year? He loves to play basketball, so that is in the Top 3 as well. It’s a far cry from his days of speed skating across the wood floors in his socks.

Cole is 6 now and enjoying the wide world of sports. He can’t get enough of water polo. When I told him his Papa Dick used to play, he was truly amazed. He found out Papa Dick rode crew as well and was equally impressed. Cole wants to watch table tennis, discus, fencing, wrestling, ANYTHING that pits one person against another in competition. He has caught the bug.

Reed is only 3, but the other night had his own Olympic moment. A US gymnast was vaulting. Reed pulled the binky out of his mouth and said, “ I like her privates” and returned the binky to the mouth. Kim looked down and quietly said, “What did you say?”. Binky out, “I like her privates”. “Why?” came the motherly reply. “They move when she runs” and the binky was reinstalled, only the dimples visible. Tod gave Kim a high five. “Looks like you’re 4 for 4, mom.”. Yes, the Olympics brings out the best in all of us.

Mary & Mom

Today is a holy day. As Catholics, we celebrate the Assumption of Mary on August 15th. This is the day that we celebrate her corporeal entrance into heaven, and her leaving our earth. Mary, for me, is my go-to woman. She IS the perfect mother, the most holy of all women in the Bible, and someone I dream of being like. Almost every motherhood experience I have gone through, both the difficult and the fun, has in some way caused me to reflect back to her. When I have had enough of Cole’s questions in ten minutes of him being up I wonder….did Jesus ask Mary this many questions? Did she EVER want to say, “Jesus, just don’t talk…mommy needs a break.” And what about the “losing it” times…like when I returned (after having cleaned to near perfection) to the boys bathroom the other day to make sure I emptied the trash can and some kind of liquid was swirling around the bottom???? Oh my gosh, that would be Reed using the restroom in the trash can because he didn’t want to take the time to lift the toilet seat! Okay, Mary…did Jesus ever do that?? And what would your tone be in addressing Reed? Well, you can rest assured that she would NOT have spoken to Reed the way I did! She is awe-inspiring. As the college departure day approaches, August 30th, I think of how she must of felt when Jesus left to begin his teachings at such a young age. It brings me strength yet reminds me of how weak I am and how strong she was/is. As a mother, I can not even begin to imagine what it must have been like to watch her son suffer the way Jesus did. I love that our church celebrates her and recognizes God’s divinity in choosing Mary for Jesus. I love her and the way that I feel so nourished by her.

Mary is not the only reason why I love August 15th. Two other incredible things are celebrated on this day. In Merchantville, New Jersey, in 1931, my grandparents (on my mother’s side), Thurston and Edna, were married! They are still a “go-to” couple for me. Before losing my grandfather in 1988, they gave us 57 years of experiencing what a real covenant marital relationship was like. Their love for one another and God was so evident. I am so blessed to have had such strong examples in my life. On my grandparent’s fifth wedding anniversary, they gave birth to their second child, but first girl, my mom. Today is my Mom’s birthday. She would have been 72 years old. I can hear her cringing from heaven. She didn’t really like aging, yet she was the first to make jokes and find fun in the process. She had many names in her aging process. My nephew, Van, affectionately named her “66” as she approached that age which she considered a term of endearment. In fact, her name then changed every year as she grew a year older. My niece, Brittany, coined the term “gray matter” and in fun called her that! She loved it! She truly loved her children, grandchildren, the checkers at the grocery store, the little ladies who worked at Hallmark….the list goes on. She KNEW these people too. I still to this day walk in to a grocery store and can giggle as I think about doing it with her and hearing the ladies working say, “Hi Gail, how are you?” I wish I could physically celebrate with her today. I can still feel her hand hold…she had strong as iron, yet long slender delicate hands. Sometimes I can still smell her! As I type and cry in missing her, she is saying from heaven, “Kimmy, this is ridiculous, get up and go clean something or cook for the week and freeze it.” I just want to hold her again and talk for a long time with her. Tonight at mass, the Catholic community will honor Mary. And I will celebrate the two most special women in my life, Mary and Mom.

Happy Birthday Mom!

TWENTY YEARS!

The best day of our lives! Our wedding day! Twenty years ago today Mike and I recited (by heart!) these vows before God, our families, and many friends:

I, Michael, take you, Kimberly, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life, that we may be one. Following the pattern of Christ as displayed in His bride, the church, so I will be to you a faithful, sacrificial husband.

I promise to you, my deepest love, my unselfish devotion, and my tenderest care. I promise to direct our lives into a life of faith and hope in God, Our Father, ever honoring His guidance through His Word. Therefore, Kimberly, throughout life, no matter what my lie ahead, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband.



I, Kimberly, take you, Michael, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too, happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. I will live as one with you, loving you, obeying you, learning from you, and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I would ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you as you lead us in God’s Word.

Therefore, Michael, throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving, obedient, and faithful wife.

Our vows were followed by the lighting of the unity candle. Prior to the wedding, Mike told me (but did not allow me to see the words) he was writing a song for this part of our ceremony. Mike had Paul, his older brother, write the music for the tune and John, one of Mike's younger brothers, sang it at our wedding. Here are the words to his song, "Father."

We can't wait to live our lives as one , Lord

To share and grow, communicate and love, Lord

We want to live as you taught us to

But we can't do that without You.

Father, hold us tight

Help us see the light

Of Your great love in our lives.

We'll never be alone

If we make our home

Inside Your arms, Father

All I want is to fulfill all her needs, Lord

Let her know how much she means to me, Lord

We want to form our own trinity

Our Father, Michael, Kimberly

As we share this sacrament today, Lord

We want You to show us the right way, Lord

In Your love, help us understand

Join our lives as we join our hands.

As we returned from lighting the unity candle and were standing before the altar, I remember lying my head down on his shoulder as he tenderly wiped the tears falling from my eyes. It was such a feel good moment. But you know, it feels even better today than it did twenty years ago! We are who we are because of God, first, and then family, and then you. To all family and friends , thank you so much for twenty years of your love, support, and prayers. Raise your glass with us tonight as we celebrate, in Tod-o's words at around 4, our "Happy Get Married Day!"

We love you!

Happy Birthday!

Photos by Uncle Brad

God danced this day 43 years ago!

You are my greatest joy, my closest friend, and home to my heart.

Happy Birthday Mickey!

I hope today is filled with all of the things you love most.

We love you!

Twenty-seven

Photographer: Aunt Kris at krjphotos.blogspot.com

Going to mass every Sunday is part of what we love to do in this Pfaffy household. Today was no different. We scurried around this morning trying to get everyone ready on time and believe it or not we managed to succeed with little issues. As we approached the church I found myself walking closer and closer to Tod, so I reached for his hand. He readily held mine as we entered the church. His hands, lucky for him, are so much like his father’s. They are thick, so strong, and so warm. As we stood in the narthex…waiting for Mike and Reed Joe who unbeknownst to us were having “why we don’t bring Nintendo DS’s into mass” talks in the van…I said to Tod, “I hope you don’t mind if I just HOLD ON.” That is where it all went down hill. I officially LOST it at church. Trying so desperately to keep myself together I kept my eyes fixed to the floor. His soft but “Gosh, Mom, get over it” voice snapped, “You’ll be fine.” Oh, how little does he know! His heart is so young and has not even begun to love the way ours have. As we approached the sanctuary Mike noticed my distress, which didn’t help because his tender look started the tears rolling AGAIN! Mike knew. He asked nothing, said nothing, but squeezed tightly. We sat where we always sit and streams of water continued to flow from my eyes despite by constant dialogue with myself of “ GET IT TOGETHER KIM.” I officially couldn’t. I kept thinking of TWENTY SEVEN. Twenty-seven more days. Only twenty-seven. How could it EVER be time already for him to go to college? It was just yesterday that he said to me, “Mom, let’s just sit here and have a Co-Ca-Lell-A and watch the BA-LINK-ITS…(have a Coca Cola and watch the Olympics.)” I will miss him so much, and the emptiness to come seems so huge and dark. I now know what it is like to have a panic attack and a war all at the same time. My brain and heart were truly at war, and today, my heart won the war. The words to this song are so perfect. You will, Tod, always be my little man. I love you up to the moon and as big as the sky~forever.

Family

As I sit (well actually I rarely sit…part of the illness that my dear mother, Gail, passed down to my sisters and me) or clean and reflect on life, I am overwhelmed with emotion. My cup is not only FULL, but it often spews! MORE THAN EVER BEFORE, I am finding this summer that I am “pinching” myself as if to say, “Is this real…could it be THIS good?” My blessings are plentiful, be sure, but one of the most precious to me is my family. First, I had fun, silly, loving, and strict parents who laid a great foundation for me. Yes, life growing up was filled as I have shared in previous blogs with MUCH hardship and hurt, but all in all they still managed to show us the right way (and sometimes we learned it from seeing so much wrong). My mom was known on our block as the “block mom.” She loved us so much and loved being a part of every aspect of our lives. She could tenderly care for us like no other, and truly, it is ONE thing I miss so badly. Dad is silly and fun (along with mom) and loved playing and reading with us when we were young. I can remember him dressing up to come shop at our “store.” My older sister, Karen, is the single most OTHER centered woman on earth. She is SO vested in all that she loves…mainly her husand, Jay, stepson, Van, Kricky, Brad, Dawn, Brittney, Alex, Dylan, Colin, Ethan, Mike, Tod, Craig, Cole, Reeder, our pets:Ransom, Yam-Yam, Lady, Riley and finally, me. She is so intelligent and has set the standard for P.A’s from the day she graduated. Karen’s husband, Jay, is one of my closest friends. He is so funny and fun to be with! His tenderness and peacefulness create an atmosphere of “home” where you feel so comfortable. I love how he loves my sister and our entire family. My younger sister, Kristin, is the single most ACCEPTING woman on earth. She loves. PERIOD. ALL life is precious to her and it is so evident in the way she cares for her cancer patients, and all other living organisms that her life touches. (She did bring home a hurt dying cow once while we lived in Bangladesh BEGGING my mom and dad to let her keep it as her pet!) And the baby, who I tear up just thinking about, is my brother, Brad. Amazing man. The most respectful, honest, family-loving, NO FEAR man I know. He saw the most hardship growing up which makes me BEAM with pride of where and who he is today. Dawn, Brad’s wife, is so refreshing…and beautiful….in a bikini at Disney’s pool after FIVE children~sick!! She is willing to come down in the trenches with you, stay for while, commiserate, and always brings me back to remembering the good. She is a blast to be with and I love most the way in which she loves my brother and my family. In fact I cry just thinking of the way in which she tenderly loved on my mom and dad. Each one gifts me in different ways and they have become “my pillars”. These pillars stand on my foundation ~ the heavenly man I married. He is a holy man who loves God with all of himself and constantly strives to please Him in every aspect of his life. He is peaceful, patient, gentle, one of the smartest men I have ever met (kinda annoying once in a while), and strong. I have four beautiful boys who like my siblings, gift me in four different but wonderful ways. My husband’s family is equally important in my life. My father-in-law, Dick, is an incredible father…in fact he has given so much to me personally. As I entered this huge Pfaffenberger family, he took me under his wing as if I was his own. He makes me feel so loved and is such a soft place to land. My mother–in-law, Kit, is a ROCK. She, too, is so holy and so committed to bringing glory to God in all aspects of her life. She is quiet…yet LEADS this incredible family to The Light daily. She accepts me for who I am, and is always there for me. Paul, Mike’s older brother, is a saint. He is amazing. Quiet, pensive in fact, reflective, talented, nurturing, and one of the most Christ-like men I know. His wife, Maggie, is essential to me. She gets it…all of it. I feel so at home with her and love every single second I get to spend or talk with her. She is the MOST FUN and full of so much life that you CAN NOT walk away from a visit or talk with her without a smile. John, Mike’s younger brother, is hilarious, passionate, determined, and so talented. I admire his “steadfast hold” on the things he believes in. His wife, Kelly, is one of the most leveling friends I have. Her calmness is so welcoming. She gives and looks for areas in her life that she can give more. She is rooted in her faith and allows Christ to shine through her “way.” Katy, Mike’s only sister, is probably one of the most happy-go-lucky people I know. She is radiant when she smiles and is so much fun to be with. We have children in the same stages of life and she has truly been a lifesaver for me. Jack, Katy’s husband, is another amazing man. He is determined, driven, and really just a kid in an adults body! And let me just say this, there is no other MORE FUN guy to go Christmas shopping with! He LOVES it and does the unthinkable to obtain the most sought after “gadgets” for his kiddos! And finally, the baby of the Pfaff’s, Steve, is so much fun to be with. He is comfortable, and someone that anyone would feel safe to open up to. He listens, laughs, and is even willing to shed tears with you. His wife, MaryLou, is probably the NICEST woman I have ever met. She truly looks for the good in everyone and never has an unkind word to say. She lifts people up and I love spending time with her. We share a lost parent pain that has been life giving to me. She also can numb a mouth without you feeling a single twinge of pain better than anyone on the planet. There is no better dentist in the world than Dr. Pfaffenberger! So if you are close to the Carrollton area and need a dentist, go see her!

We are all made in the image of God, and I am so thankful that each time I am with family, I get a chance to see HIM in each one of them. We are all broken in some way, and perhaps that is why God’s light shines through so brightly. Most importantly, we are ALL on the same journey to wholeness.

To all of you mentioned above, I thank you for loving me, and the boys in my life the way that you do. You are the most important and beautiful people in my life. I love each of you more than I could ever effectively express in words.

To God, I thank You for blessing me with this family. Their divinity is a reflection of YOU. I pray that you will continue to guide us on this journey to You, and that you will nurture each of us with exactly what You know we need. Every single good gift I know is from You…and I thank You for gifting me. I love You.