Kar

Photo by: Kricky

As a child, I affectionately called her "Ra-Ra" because I couldn't pronounce her name. My speech and language skills eventually got better and it often was "Kar-Kin." Then, finally, Karen. And now, mostly just Kar. I am confident that God never created anyone with more passion about being a daughter, sister, aunt, Godmother, and mom than Karen. Two words often come to mind when I think about her....ROCK and ESSENTIAL. She is, has been, and continues to be that for me...and my siblings. She is a "dive-in" kind of person. She not only knows your heart, but she dwells in the deepest part of you. She does this, too, not because she has to, but because she wants to. Understandable, you might say, for a first born, especially when it comes to her siblings. But anyone who reads this and knows her, knows full well it does not stop with her siblings. Karen spreads that passion and dedication to all those, including her patients, whom her life touches. She is willing to sit with you in the trenches, run with you to a finish line, carry you when you can't seem to get yourself up, counsel you for hours on end, diagnose illnesses from miles away, laugh til it hurts with you, travel across the world with you, nurse us back to health, and celebrate life with you. And you know, as if that wasn't enough.... she does this with ALL of us....our families and all of our in-laws and their children...all of her Godchildren(6 total!)...nieces/nephews(16 total!)....her friends...even our friends....and the list goes on! My children walk the halls of their schools and their friends or teachers often say..."Did Aunt Karen get you that?" or "Is Aunt Karen coming?". Friends have often offered to pay her to make their lunches for work!! Tod's college roommate has asked if Aunt Karen would adopt him...and he hasn't even met her! God has shone and healed through her generosity and thoughtfulness for years! I thank God for her everyday.

Kar, you often are a "dumping" ground for Krick, BJ, Dawn, and me. You listen so well to not only our words, but also to our hearts. You have and continue to be such a safe place for our children to vent and share. The value of that goes so much deeper than you could ever realize. Thank you for all of the many things you do for us and with us. We can not count the number of times you have fed us...physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Thank you for loving us the way that you do, and for loving our children as much as we do. Mom, I know, smiles and no doubt is so relaxed in Heaven as she watches you so tenderly care for each of us. Not being able to have children of your own is a cross you have carried in this life....and perhaps that was God's grand planning...because He knew you would be caring for all of us. I know I don't share enough how much you mean to me . Know this, you are essential to me.

In Tod's words long ago to you....I love you to infinity and beyond, too,
KimmyAnn

Sacred Sunday

Kris's photo

Our Profession of Faith

We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth,

of all that is seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in being with the father.

Through him all things were made. For us men and our salvation He came down from heaven: by the power of the Holy Spirit, He was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man.

For our sake He was crucified under Pontius Pilate:

He suffered, died, and was buried.

On the third day He rose again in fulfillment of the scriptures:

He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,

and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son.

With the Father and the Son, He is worshiped and glorified.

He has spoken through the Prophets.

We believe in one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church.

We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.

We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

Craig found the FISH BOWL!

Of all the competitive sports, basketball has never been one of my favorites. I don't really understand why though....my mom (standing NEVER taller than 5'1") was the captain of her high school basketball team, my brother Brad played all through school, and Dad made incredible "hoops" for us at the house....the kind that would bring all the neighborhood boys! I believe we were the first on the block to have a handmade goal that could be adjusted....6 feet, 8 feet, and then regulation 10 feet. (Or is it 10'2"?) Anyway...I should have developed some kind of love for this game. Not so much. Perhaps because I played and play it so much like a "girl." Can't even begin to attempt to shot ONE handed (as seen by the pro in photo 3)!

Craig, however, is passionate about basketball. He absolutely loves it and takes great pride in catching me up on all the bball lingo (brick, bank, aggie swish, nothin' but net, shot the tray, etc.) and positions. Lately he has, as Cole said, "not had any fish in the fish bowl!" (I learned that means no points in the game) Well, last game against St. Phillip, Craig found the fish bowl! He brought in 10 of their 44 points! It was so awesome! Can't wait until the games this weekend! And Craig, or as they call him on and off the court, Pfaffy, I'll try not to yell so loud!

Hey Brad, how about that number? Nothing but the best!

Tradition

One November 5th, 2008, Cole entered my bathroom at 5:30am. I was blow drying my hair, and quite honestly I jumped a little hearing his footsteps...as I am usually the only one up at that hour. Before I could open my mouth, he said solemnly (head bowed and all):

Cole: You don't have to tell me.
Me: Tell you what?
Cole: Barak HUSSEIN Obama won.

With that and again before I could even speak one single word, he left back to his room to go back to sleep. He was, to say the least, so let down. How in the world could his candidate lose? He had campaigned for Senator John McCain. So much so that his first grade teacher, Mrs. Wunderlick, had to take down the pictures of BOTH candidates for President...so that Cole would focus on the FIRST GRADE school work he was missing due to his steadfast campaigning. Passionate for his country is the way I choose to look at it.

Because of this passion, I really thought I might hear some snears regarding today's festivities from Cole. Not the case! Here is how it went:

Cole: I am kinda happy for Obama.
Me: Yeah, why do you feel happy for him?
Cole: Cuz, he's the first Black American to get to be President.
Me: Cool to be first isn't it?
Cole: Yeah

Regardless of our affilliations, today was one of those "Proud to be American" days. As I sat in an auditorium at school with my class to watch the swearing in, tears welled up in my eyes as I witnessed Past Presidents enter, and the other significant political dignitaries. It felt good overall....perhaps a little sad that equal numbers were not present for other President's Inauguration Days...but all in all good.

I think what makes me expotentially proud is the way in which George W. Bush respects the office of President...and the way in which he passed the gavel to Barack. You know....no missing letters on keyboards throughout the White House and all that junk. To me, he has such class.

I love our traditions. They are so moving, and they remind me of how thankful to God I am to be an American. Whether we are happy with the outcome of this election or not...he is our President. And, as my little brother, Brad, said so well, we have an opportunity to teach others, and especially our children, that the office of President is to be respected...always.

Happy Heaven Day Mom

My little sister, Kris (whose tribute is amazing) composed this video.

(Be sure to pause our music before watching.)

God made a wonderful mother,

A mother who never grows old;

He made her smile of the sunshine,

And He molded her heart of pure gold;

In her eyes He placed bright shining stars,

In her cheeks, fair roses you see;

God made a wonderful mother;

And He gave that dear mother to me.

Pat O'Riley

Mom,

Despite your "Kimmy Ann, don't be ridiculous" that I still hear ringing in my ears, my tears will never dry from missing you so much. Today, for all of us, is glorius in that it is an anniversary of the end of your suffering, and the beginning of your Everlasting Life. I am so comforted knowing you are pillowed softly in His strong Arms. Come see me in my dreams. I love you~kimmy

Answers!

God is so, so good! He flooded our household with answered prayers. In fact Heaven shook when the numerous prayers from you "hit" there...thank you beyond words. First, my left lung has 2 nodules....both of which, thanks be to God, (we found out today at 5) are calcifications! No matter how hard you try, when you receive news of such you go "there." What if it's cancer (in the St. Elmo's Fire voice......do you remember???) ? Well, because of the power of prayer, it's not so I'm not going back there! Second, Tod spoke with the coach today. He apologized for not calling and explained that he had been out of town and would be out of town over the next couple of weeks with recruiting stuff. When he returns he said he would get Tod's paper work set up, and get him out to kick and then get him working out with the off season! Thank you God! Thank you Scott! Third, Cole is SEVEN today! He wore his "Happy Birthday" tag from Mrs. Wunderlick all day! He also got the best hair cut ever from Ms. Kelly! He is looking so good...and I will update with pictures when Mike gets home on Sunday. Fourth, Craig's Confirmation Retreat has begun, and I pray that he remains open to the Spirit this weekend.

I am so humbled. I feel so unworthy. The countless displays of support and love truly leave me touched beyond words. I am surrounded by Him through you...His Beloved people. Thank you for making His Word come alive in us today.

Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth.

1 John 3:18

Waiting....still.....

The theme in the Pfaff household this week has been "wait." God has delivered an abundance of answers, all of which amount to a humanly frustrating four letter word....wait. Cole has been counting the days down until tomorrow...his SEVENTH birthday....but still he waits. Tod still is waiting for his phone to ring...although, the latest from him was he is going to stop by the coach's office tomorrow...perhaps to see if his waiting can end. Bottom line though is that he still waits. The second x-ray of my left lung showed it is still not right...and the waiting for answers is unnerving. Craig and Mike wait as the departure for one of the most special Sacrament preparations for Craig approaches this weekend...his Confirmation Retreat. My little sister who is in the process of adopting from China knows all too well about this wait process. Did I mention I am not a very patient waiter? Some of that is personality...some is the product of the evil in this "FAST LANE" world. In the meantime, however, our schedule is slammed like the rest of you out there struggling to juggle the demands of activities, parenthood, marriage, and full-time work.

Still, in the midst of all of this sometimes chaos, I am touched by God through our boys. I truly write this in awe....not at all a reflection of us as parents but solely a reflection of who God truly IS and how majestic He is....and how he shows Himself to us through our boys. Never in a million years would I have been at this place at a ripe ole age of almost 19.....and so I'll share. In response to a text message I sent to Tod today in which I told him I was a little nervous....he texts to me, and I QUOTE:

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Deut 31:6. Let go and let God.

Tod, you are an amazing man....so, so much like your dad. Words are so inadequate in expressing what your words meant to me today. I love you.

God, I thank you for loving us the way that You do, and especially for touching us in the many different ways that You do. This Pfaff household lifts every single WAIT up to you....and we pray that You will bless us with crystal clear answers. Thank you for working in and through Tod, Craig, Cole, and Reed. Surround their hearts, Lord, with Your armor, and I pray they always hunger and thrist for You. And, by the way, we will WAIT for You, forever.

Waiting.....

Tod is still waiting to hear....and we are still praying here!!!

Tod, Time & Tenderness

Each day I am reminded time and time again of God's greatness. Each hug, kiss, high five, or radiant smile I receive from any one or all of my men is a reminder of God's tenderness. Time and tenderness. I love those things. And so did Tod when he was about 3 or 4. He would sing every word of Michael Bolton's Time, Love, and Tenderness...except in his words it was "Tine n Tendness." Tod was quite a singer back in those days. I will never forget his first song. I knew that if my grandmother EVER heard it she would seriously question her granddaughter's and grandson-in-law's ability to be a "fit" parents. There were things you never ever did in front of Edna N...and this would have been one of them! Tod at TWO, no lie and yes, we have proof on video, crooned to Garth Brook's "Friends In So Places" a.k.a. Friends in Low Places. He had a small guitar back then and would give us concerts! Let me tell you, he not only entertained us, but he entertained all our friends and relatives as well! It was often suggested that we send the video in to "Funniest Home Videos." I think it would have won! Unfortunately we have that video on a 16 year old tape and need to have it converted! It would be perfect for this post!

A LOT has changed since then. Tomorrow, Tod sees the Special Teams coach at Louisiana Tech. Not sure yet whether this meeting will result in a try out...right then...or if he will be asked to come back at another date to show them his gifts. Or, perhaps on the words that Scott, his kicking coach, has already shared with them, and video they have already seen of Tod, they will just extend him an offer to walk on. Don't really have any idea how that works. What we do know, however, is that Tod is ready and has been ready, and he has amazing gifts to offer any team. He has a 4.0, has an amazing work ethic (for himself and the teams he is a part of), positive leader, so loyal, and God made his leg like a cannon.

Tod, you have waited a long time....and in that waiting time you have continued to work so hard and diligently. Very impressive. God knows your heart, too, Tod. We pray you continue to allow Him to shine His light on the path He has for you, and that He showers you with wisdom and understanding in accepting it.

Family and friends...and any one else who happens upon this blog........please say a prayer for Tod on Monday. God willing, we hope to post about the newest member of the LA Tech football team.

I still do

Ahh. Don't really even know where to begin. I have been away from this blog for a while. Mike has been out of town these last few days and taking on the four boys and working full time just doesn't always go so well. Especially when your heart is heavy. I have tried to figure out the heavy heart part, but truly go back to my post months ago of "Forecast Rainy." Sunny weather just seems far off. A very dear friend of mine told me it's because of the anniversary of this time of year....and you know, I think she is partly right. My heart feels heavy for a combination of reasons that I won't bore anyone with (well, at least not now)...but it's aching, too. No different from our own "babies"...when you hurt, feel alone, need a friend, want to be held, or just need a shoulder to cry on...you want Mom. I still do.

Half a century!

Mom and Dad

50 years ago... today!

In memory of my parents, as Tod called it, Happy "Get Married" Day!

Mom and Dad's wedding pictures were in the basement many years ago. We had a flood which damaged (as you can see) many of their wedding photos. When I look at the picture of Dad on the stairs I see a little of Tod...do you?





3 years ago today...our nephew Ian was born!
Happy Birthday Ian!

The Final Analysis

My father sent this our way recently....and I like it. Great focus for 2009....maybe it will be for you, too.



People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is all between you and God;
It was never between you and them, …. anyway.

The late Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Big Families

Some of our closest friends from church, The Smiths, recently gave birth to their sixth, a boy, Aaron Michael! As we drove to Medical City to welcome the new little one, Mike asked me, "Are you envious or happy for them?" Always happy when a new life begins in this world, but in a way I felt envious. How FUN to have six children. The infancy no sleep nights, baby carrier seats that break your back and arms, packing your world before leaving the house, putting your weekly earnings to Kimberly Clark or Pampers....all of those things tire me to even think about. So why envious? Well, when I think about them, I, instead, teleport in my mind years and years ahead. How fun Christmas will be when they ALL come home? And how about the weddings, family reunions, vacations...ahh, that is when I get a tinge of envy.

God was so good in nurturing this need for me because the Pfaffenberger-Jackson clan is a big one. Mike has four siblings and I have three...and between the two families there are lots and lots of kiddos. It all started with Brittany. Ten days later came Tod. Then a little less than four months later came Tori. Then Eric, Van, Kody, Craig, Jacob, Alex, Miranda, Cameron, Dylan, Cole, Madison, Caroline, Christian, Patrick, Reed, Colin, Ian, Ethan, and Reagan! We also have Emily, Allyson, Dillon, and four other little angels already in Heaven. And, last but certainly not least we have one on the way from China someday very soon! I have always wanted one big huge party with all of us there! What fun it would be! We ARE an advertisement for the Roman Catholic Church!

Getting together is something the Pfaffenberger clan do often, and I am determined to add the Jackson clan to that "often" list, too, in 2009! (little hard in that they are all in sunny Florida) We have and do gather for Cowboy games, UCLA games, March Madness games, Sacraments, plays, high school games, swimming and grilling out, choir concerts, recitals, and especially for birthdays! I always felt sorry for my little sister, Krissy, born on December 12th, and for my older sister, Karen, born on January 8th. Then Colin arrived on December 29th! I always thought they were "cheated" with the Christmas/Birthday gifts! But that is nothing....check out this list!

January 3 Ian's Birthday & my parents wedding anniv. date

January 4 Reed's Birthday

January 8 Karen's Birthday

January 12 Dawn & Jacob's Birthday

January 13 Steve's Birthday

January 16 Cole's Birthday & Emily's Day

January 20 Carolines' Birthday

January 28 Ethan's Birthday

I know, now, what most parents were doing in APRIL!! Celebrating yet another Sacrament!

Happy New Year!

Our most blessed times always include our families. We hope yours does too!